Links to all 30 Things....

I've just noticed that upon starting my 30 Things journey I neglected to start with the normal what I'm doing and why post and then provide a link to all the questions...so this will have to serve...I'll go back and provide a link from there to here...and then y'all can start this amazing adventure with me...


1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitamate fears and how they came to be that way.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you the most happiest right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you've ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a current day in your life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. What animal would you be and why?
16. What are 5 of your greatest accomplishments?
17. What is something you wished you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be, and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from childhood.
21. If you could have 1 superpower what would it be? And what is the first thing you would do with it?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5, 10, 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your childhood family dynamics vs. your family dynamics now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be, and what would you eat?
26. What is a popular notion you think the world has wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people most misunderstand about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

I started this journey as a way for my husband to learn new things about me.  As this was fully intended to be when Jess posted these on her blog and then pinned it on pinterest.  But somewhere along the way...it became more.  It became not only my outlet for rants and raves that I've either kept bottled up or droned on and on about time and again, but also a source of discovery for me.  I've started to discover new sides of myself and things that I never really knew were there.  For those that started this journey with me...thank you and I hope you've discovered more about me.  For those that are just starting this journey...come on and get started already!  :D  Also, if you have a blog...you should start this on yours too.  I promise, it may take you awhile, but you won't regret the journey!!!

29/30 Things: Misunderstand

29. What do you think people most misunderstand about you?

Hmmm....wow...this one has had me thinking for days.  I think it's a combination of two things.  One being a strong person.  I think a lot people come to me with problems and gripes is not because I'm such a great listener, but because they know I can handle listening to their situations or bearing their verbal lashings.  This is something that I've just trained myself to do.  I really don't think I am a strong person...there are times when all I want to do is break down and cry when someone yells at me or complains to me or complain back about why they have to use me for this.  As a friend I don't do this because this is what being a friend is for, but there are times when it is just too much.   Or there's the strength that people think I have in my struggle to become a mother. 

Case in point...I was going to adopt a baby from a friend of my mother.  She decided towards the end of her pregnancy to keep the baby.  Okay...no prob...very overjoyed for her that she believes she can take care of the baby.  Would not want to go through the agony she would have in giving up the baby.  Gave her a bunch of stuff I bought for the baby...a little hurtful, but still pretty okay.  My mom has continued to watch the baby...not a problem.  When it became a problem though was when anytime I went over to the house or talked to her on the phone it was Addy this...and Addy that...or here Cassie hold the baby...oh Cassie isn't she just the cutest baby!  No...my nephew Nate, niece Mia, and niece Sarah were the cutest babies...that little chubster is adorable, but not more so than my other kiddos.  It's hard...seeing all your friends and family getting pregnant around you...it's hard hearing all the success stories of people who are in the same predicament as me...spend a couple of months trying to conceive and then voila it's a frickin miracle...I'm pregnant!!!  YAY congrats...congrats...go suck an egg and leave me the frick alone.  I have to say though...two of my friends have become pregnant here lately...and I'm super happy for them!  One wasn't lately...she's actually about to pop any second...but she has had a hard go of conceiving her story makes mine look like a walk in the park.  The other is a very close friend who already has a little boy, but has wanted a big family for soooo long that I was overjoyed to find out.  

I think...that second thing...ties into the strength issue...so we'll leave it at that. 

28/30 Things: Love Language

28. What is your love language?

Okay...it's been a while since I've read the Love Languages, so for my refresher and for those that haven't read it, I will try to provide a refresher for ya.

The Five Love Languages is a book written by Dr. Gary Chapman (an incredibly smart man).  It basically describes how couples interact as people and helps you find the best way to "talk/communicate" with your spouse or significant other.  Here are the websites descriptions of the 5 Love Languages:

Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.


Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.


Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.


Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.


Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.


So since it had been a long time I took the assesment quiz on their website here.  It told me that my main love language was Physical Touch with a very close second being Words of Affirmation.  And I pretty much agree...I think it's a closer race between those two than what the quiz score gave, but I am very much a sucker for my husband's hugs, kisses, hand holds, and also love hearing him tell me how much he loves me or misses me.  For example, the other day before work I had been harping for days on how much I felt like we hadn't really had any time together since I started my new job almost seven months ago.  He snidely replied to me...we just spent three days together camping!  Well of course it hurt a lot, but I didn't really snap back or anything just calmy explained to him that even though we were together...we weren't (in my reasoning) together.  We had friends with us and we kinda segregated ourselves.  The women running camping and swimming with the dogs, while the men ran back and forth to town, snorkling, and kayaking. 

It wasn't until later that afternoon before going to work that my husband said in passing what I had been waiting to hear for months.  That he really did miss me and miss spending time with me in the evenings.   (awwww....)

 
 

27/30 Things: Body Parts

27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?

Oh...wow....I love my eyes.  People have always told me that my eyes are my best feature and I have to agree.  I used to wear contacts (back before my eyes started rejecting them) and they just popped!  Now my glasses although really funky and I love them...they hide my eyes. 

I've also always been the type of person who believes the eyes are the gateway to the soul.  I believe that my eyes are very expressive and although sometimes hard to read for my husband, most of my friends and family know exactly what I'm thinking or feeling by looking at or into my eyes.

See what I mean...I'm constantly taking them off to get better shots with my eyes!

26/30 Things: Notions

26. What is a popular notion you think the world has wrong?


Seriously, I think the world has a lot of notions wrong.  But I guess the first one that comes to mind is worrying about all the starving children all over the world or spending billions on relief for war torn countries, poor 3rd world countries, and other things like that.  Now before you get really offended and for my friends call me up to tell me what a horrid person I am, what about the millions of children in America who are starving.  Or the people here who are without homes and have no one and no where to go to.  Are there commercials in other countries about sending their money to America to help the poor starving orphans?

If you stay up a bit later in the night or watch day time television you are constantly bombarded with please send money for these kids, or please help this starving orphan all from Africa, India, and other poorer countries.  At no time will you see that same "charity" make a commerical for the poor white kid living down the street whose mom is a crack head or dead and is living in worse conditions than the orphans in the commericals, to try to help them.  We send soooo much money personally, and soooo much money out of our countries pockets to help them.  But yet, no one is helping the kids here.  The adults here, the veterans here! 

WOW!...I'm stepping off that soapbox....think of me as a horrible person now...but I have always wondered why we send money to help those in other countries, but can't help those here at home.

Wow

So I'm totally bored right now at work...after a harrowing day of crabby customers and phone calls that border on the outrageous; it has become quiet...almost too quiet.  So what do I do...open up blogger and check how many views my entries have had. 

Now granted I have five followers...that in itself is awesome considering...well I'm me!  But I kinda took a moment to see who my followers were.  All of them are friends with the exception of one.  I couldn't believe it!  I'm interesting enough that I have a complete stranger interested enough in what I write to want to follow my blog.

If you can't tell amazing reader who is a stranger to me...your interest in me has me excited...and also I now find myself in a query.  Do I stop using this as an outlet for all the crappy stuff that has happened to me and as a go to for the verbal barf that sometimes makes up one of my more boring posts?  Do I now create a writing method so as not to offend anyone with my grammatical errors and horrible punctuation?  Or do I just go on as I have been completely oblivious to my followers and blog for me, myself, and I and think followers be damned when I post?  I'll say what I want, when I want...

yea...so bored tonight...didn't really want to explore anymore of the 30 Things topic, but was excited for just a moment.  That moments gone...so I'll leave you now.

Peace, Love, and Girl Scout Cookies!

25/30 Things: Dinner

25.  If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?


 I would love a chance to sit down to dinner with Jane Austen.  She is my favorite author and I would love to pick her brain about her ideas of the novels.  How she came up with them, the trials and tribulations she had while writing them and why she did certain characters and scenes the way she did.  

I'd also love to ask her why she never married...was it lack of love or was she just so madly in love with the man she almost married that she couldn't stand to be with anyone else.  

And for dinner...I think depending on if I traveled back or she traveled forward we'd have a normal dinner of each time period.  Secretly, I'd love to travel back and experience the time and food. 

24/30 Things: Family

24. Describe your family dynamics of your childhood vs. your family dynamics now.

My family dynamics have changed so much since my childhood.  My sister and I didn't get along at all.  We fought constantly and when asked she always thought I was psycho enough that I was going to kill her at any moment.  There was this one fight that I will never let her live down.  To this day we can't remember who started it or what it was about, but I was so mad that I went into the kitchen to calm down.  I grabbed an apple and started to cut it up.  My sister chose that moment to come into the kitchen, sees me with a knife, screams bloody murder and proceeds to barricade herself in her bedroom with a chair against the door and calls my mom at work.  Now my mother at the time was a Surgical Technologist.  So she most often was in surgery.  My sister told the nurse who answered the phone it was an emergency and they patched her through to the OR....my sister then starts rambling on to my mom how scared she was that I was going to kill her and my mom needed to come home right away....needless to say that incident didn't end well for either of us.

My mother on the other hand was my best friend.  We did everything together.  We had movie nights, went shopping, spent alot of time together, but now the dynamic has completely flip flopped.  My mother and I fight like cats and dogs and my sister and I are extremely close.  She's going through a health scare right now and I have absolutely no way of helping her and it scares the crap out of me.  I don't know if she reads my blog or not so I'm going to say this regardless...(I'm hoping she doesn't because I don't want to scare her more than she already is,) but I don't know what I would do if I was to lose her. 

23/30 Things: Hobbies

23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.


1) I LOVE TO READ!!!!  I am a voracious reader.  Romance, paranormal, inspirational, christian lit...it all goes in my bitty head and stays there.  If I had to give up my books...I would die.  I am not exaggerating people...books are what makes my blood pump.

2)  I know its weird but it goes along with my love of books.  I love to research!  Currently I am researching my husband's and I's SCA names to make them more authentic for our personas.

3)  I love to craft.  Scrapbook, painting, sewing, just creating something is an outlet that I adore.

4)  I love to sing.  And I'm good at it too...not good enough that I'll ever be anyone famous, but good enough to know when I sing karaoke people stop what their doing to watch me.  People request songs for me to sing...yes I am bragging so I am going to stop now.

5)  I LOVE TO BAKE!!!!  Again it goes along with the crafting/creation hobby but it's its own hobby.  I cant explain it...I can't describe the feeling I get when I bake it's just blissful (mostly) for me when I bake. 

22/30 Things: Future Self

22. Where do you see yourself in 5, 10, 15 years?


     In 5 years I hope to be teaching with at least one child of my own.  I see our backyard being completely finished and it has become the mecca I've pictured it to be. I see us completely out of debt except for maybe the house and my student loans. This will allow us to start planning trips and remodels to the house that we have been dreaming about since we bought it.

     In 10 years I hope that we have at least one more child.  I would like to see that we have taken some bigger trips, maybe a cruise to Alaska or the Carribean and maybe a trip to Europe.  I also see myself as finishing up a doctorate in education and maybe working up to becoming a Principal.

     In 15 years I hope that my husband has been able to retire.  I also hope that we have enough savings to drastically cut back on the hours I have had to work.  I also hope that we have spent a lot of time visiting Ireland and made friends that keep pulling us back across the sea.  Most of this is all do-able if we can become debt free.  And that just takes some time. 

21/30 Things: Superpowers

21. If you could have one superpower what would it be? And what is the first thing you would do with it?


     If I could have just one superpower I would have to choose flight.  It was a hard choice for me because when I think about it I would love to be like Wonder Woman or Supergirl, but what is the biggest thing that they both have in common? Flight...I can work on being strong and fighting for justice....I can find magical things that will help my crime fighting abilities, but flight has to be a power that I already have.  

     I think the first thing I would do with my flight...is see the places across the globe that I know I'll never be able to go.  Then I would purchase some land in the one country that I have ALWAYS wanted to live and build a home base...from there I would find investors to back my venture into crime fighting and build a vast JUSTICE LEAGUE EMPIRE!!!!  Finding others just like me who have super powers.


     Yea, yea, it's just a dream...but it's a good one I think...right? 

     

20/30 Things: Childhood

20.  Describe 3 significant memories from childhood.

1) I guess my first biggest memory would be of traveling from Spokane, Washington to Rogers, Arkansas every summer to visit my grandparents.  It was fun bring them school projects we had completed telling about the state from an outsiders perspective.  It was also nice because at the time my maternal grandparents had a farm house out in what is now called Pinnacle Hills area of Rogers.  

2)  My second significant memory would be of my mom and stepdad's divorce and everything that resulted from that.  Up until that moment I knew I had a biological father, but he wasn't very present in my life.  So to leave my dad and step siblings and embark on a new future with my mom was super scary.  We ended up living with my grandparents for awhile and I really enjoyed that.  It actually helped me develop a closer bond with my grandparents and my great grandma.  

3)  My last significant memory from childhood would be moving to Fort Smith.  Again my mother was seeking for something new and left all our family and friends behind for a church down here. Now at first I was resistant. I wanted to go to my mom's alma mater, I wanted to stay with my best friend and go to high school with her and not leave my boyfriend.  But truthfully when I look back at it...it lead me to some really great people in my life.  I was introduced to two woman that would be come my best friends.

19/30 Things: Live

19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?

This was like the easiest post yet.  My heart always has and always will belong in Ireland!!! 







Wicklow Mountains



 Why...I really can't explain it.  I have always felt this pull to be a part of Ireland.  I guess if I couldn't ever live there...I would settle to visit there and stay for maybe a month.

Another place I would love to live is Michigan.  Russ' family is from Ludington/Scottville area of Michigan and we go every year to visit.  I just love the mild summers and harsh winters they have there.  I have as of yet to get anywhere other than Grand Rapids in the state to visit, but I just know that Michigan is another place I would love to live.

18/30 Things: Forgive

18.  What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?


     I'm not really sure how much to share about this.  Or even if to share this.  My sister and I, for most of my life, have never really had a great relationship.  We are two completely different people with clashing personalities.  Living together was....well frankly it was hell!  Only after my sister moved out did we start to patch and repair our relationship and become best friends and sisters.  Throughout my young adult life...we've lived together several times and started the old patterns of clashing.  We've definitely realized we can't live together and still be sisters and friends. 

     A couple of years after high school my mother and I were living in a duplex and my neighbor was a young girl just like me.  But she was super popular and very friendly.  She threw parties like every weekend.  At that same time I was dating A.  He was this slick guy from my college choir class and I sat and sang next to him for a year before he "noticed" me.  We were pretty good friends before he even let on that he "crushed" on me.  We started dating.  My mother hated him with a passion.  He was the quintessential college guy.  He smoked...cigarettes and pot, but never around me.  He drank a lot, and was very sexually active.  After the first couple of times of trying to push me into sex...he respected my wishes and stopped the pressure.  I also made a huge mistake by telling him that if he REALLY needed it...he could go outside of our relationship and sleep with someone, but only in a emergency situation and I would only look the other way once.  Yes, it was a form of a test.  Yes, it was pretty wrong of me to test him like that. 

      One particular party night A and I went to neighbors, party and drank and mingled and had a great time.  Of course, my sister was there with her best friend at the time.  I had to be to work early the next morning so I had to leave the party at a semi-reasonable hour.  A walked me home and we kissed a bit and then he left.

     That night I had the worst dream of my life.  I could hear my sister moaning and groaning...because....well you know why.  When I woke up (deeply disturbed) I started thinking about it and the first thought that crossed my mind was she and A had been together...in my garage.  So I confronted my sister...told her about the dream I had and listened to her tell me it was just that...a dream.  I asked A about it and he confirmed it was a dream. 

     I went along with this for about two months, before the dream I was about to give up on my waiting for marriage and give away this precious gift, after the dream I didn't feel right and decided to wait.  I had finally decided to give A that gift again and was talking to my friend B about it when she finally broke down and told me.  The dream I had wasn't a dream, but my brain actually hearing it happen and trying to let me know.  My sister had lied to my face while looking at me in the eyes.  And A had lied to me as well.  I had it out with my sister and told her to get lost from my life cause this wasn't the first time she had done stuff with my boyfriends, but it was the farthest, and forgave A because as he put it...I told him he got one emergency outside of the relationship thing.  It wasn't but a month later I told him to get lost also because he could have slept with any girl on the planet, but he chose my sister....that was just unforgivable. 

     It took me years to finally forgive and forget with my sister.  To trust her around my boyfriends again and to allow our relationship to prosper.  Today...we have a great relationship that I would have never dreamed possible, but because the Lord dug around in my heart and made me face these issues...I was able to be a better Child of God, forgive and in turn be a better sister.

17/30 Things: Great

17. What is something you wish you were great at?


     I guess it's a combination of being a concert violinist and a singer.  I have a beautiful voice...according to A LOT of people.  But there are so many other people out there that I believe have so much better voices than I do.  I would even settle for just having a local band that plays in pubs around town.  But, sadly being an asthmatic seriously hampers my ability to be in a bar for long periods of time...and most bands here in the river valley are male bands. 

     I could probably be a concert violinist, but only if I picked my violin back up and practiced for hours everyday to get back to the point I was in high school.  I guess realistically if I could just start a music guild in my SCA Kingdom of Glen Abhann that would be enough for me.  To play period pieces and be the person in the kingdom to go to for music would be such a great accomplishment...I think that would satisfy my wish.

16/30 Things: Accomplished

16. What are 5 of your greatest accomplishments?

1. Being ranked 15th in the state in All State Orchestra. 

It was and always has been a high light of my life

and one of my greatest accomplishments.

2. Meeting and Marrying my Prince Charming.

Russ and I's lives before meeting weren't a walk in the park by any

stretch of the imagination...and I had serious commitment issues (just ask several previous boyfriends.)  But I allowed myself to just "see where it goes" and to trust that God knew what he was doing when he planned for me to meet Russ.

3. Staying really tight with my best friends.

Lyndsey, Tiffany, and Ashley have seen some pretty dark days with me and are still around to giggle, laugh at and with me, and still love me unconditionally because of them.  These three women are not only my best friends, but my sisters.  Just think of the movie Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood...and that's what we're like.  (YA YA!!!)

4.  Having the compassion to forgive.

There are several times in my life that family or friends have done things that are inexcusable...I have overcome those obstacles to save my relationships with them.  This really wouldn't have happened if I hadn't started to trust God and give every thing up to him.

5. My Strength.

In high school...I wasn't strong...I wasn't even remotely close to having the strength to be a rule breaker or change the course of my life that my mother had set out for me.  But going through said hardships that gave me the courage to forgive, and placing my trust in God, gave me strength to follow what God wanted for my life.  Leaving a church that my mother raised me in that didn't feel right for me.