Saturday, June 30, 2012

28/30 Things: Love Language

28. What is your love language?

Okay...it's been a while since I've read the Love Languages, so for my refresher and for those that haven't read it, I will try to provide a refresher for ya.

The Five Love Languages is a book written by Dr. Gary Chapman (an incredibly smart man).  It basically describes how couples interact as people and helps you find the best way to "talk/communicate" with your spouse or significant other.  Here are the websites descriptions of the 5 Love Languages:

Words of Affirmation

Actions don’t always speak louder than words. If this is your love language, unsolicited compliments mean the world to you. Hearing the words, “I love you,” are important—hearing the reasons behind that love sends your spirits skyward. Insults can leave you shattered and are not easily forgotten.


Quality Time
In the vernacular of Quality Time, nothing says, “I love you,” like full, undivided attention. Being there for this type of person is critical, but really being there—with the TV off, fork and knife down, and all chores and tasks on standby—makes your significant other feel truly special and loved. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful.


Receiving Gifts
Don’t mistake this love language for materialism; the receiver of gifts thrives on the love, thoughtfulness, and effort behind the gift. If you speak this language, the perfect gift or gesture shows that you are known, you are cared for, and you are prized above whatever was sacrificed to bring the gift to you. A missed birthday, anniversary, or a hasty, thoughtless gift would be disastrous—so would the absence of everyday gestures.


Acts of Service
Can vacuuming the floors really be an expression of love? Absolutely! Anything you do to ease the burden of responsibilities weighing on an “Acts of Service” person will speak volumes. The words he or she most want to hear: “Let me do that for you.” Laziness, broken commitments, and making more work for them tell speakers of this language their feelings don’t matter.


Physical Touch
This language isn’t all about the bedroom. A person whose primary language is Physical Touch is, not surprisingly, very touchy. Hugs, pats on the back, holding hands, and thoughtful touches on the arm, shoulder, or face—they can all be ways to show excitement, concern, care, and love. Physical presence and accessibility are crucial, while neglect or abuse can be unforgivable and destructive.


So since it had been a long time I took the assesment quiz on their website here.  It told me that my main love language was Physical Touch with a very close second being Words of Affirmation.  And I pretty much agree...I think it's a closer race between those two than what the quiz score gave, but I am very much a sucker for my husband's hugs, kisses, hand holds, and also love hearing him tell me how much he loves me or misses me.  For example, the other day before work I had been harping for days on how much I felt like we hadn't really had any time together since I started my new job almost seven months ago.  He snidely replied to me...we just spent three days together camping!  Well of course it hurt a lot, but I didn't really snap back or anything just calmy explained to him that even though we were together...we weren't (in my reasoning) together.  We had friends with us and we kinda segregated ourselves.  The women running camping and swimming with the dogs, while the men ran back and forth to town, snorkling, and kayaking. 

It wasn't until later that afternoon before going to work that my husband said in passing what I had been waiting to hear for months.  That he really did miss me and miss spending time with me in the evenings.   (awwww....)




 
 



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