Hmmm....wow...this one has had me thinking for days. I think it's a combination of two things. One being a strong person. I think a lot people come to me with problems and gripes is not because I'm such a great listener, but because they know I can handle listening to their situations or bearing their verbal lashings. This is something that I've just trained myself to do. I really don't think I am a strong person...there are times when all I want to do is break down and cry when someone yells at me or complains to me or complain back about why they have to use me for this. As a friend I don't do this because this is what being a friend is for, but there are times when it is just too much. Or there's the strength that people think I have in my struggle to become a mother.
Case in point...I was going to adopt a baby from a friend of my mother. She decided towards the end of her pregnancy to keep the baby. Okay...no prob...very overjoyed for her that she believes she can take care of the baby. Would not want to go through the agony she would have in giving up the baby. Gave her a bunch of stuff I bought for the baby...a little hurtful, but still pretty okay. My mom has continued to watch the baby...not a problem. When it became a problem though was when anytime I went over to the house or talked to her on the phone it was Addy this...and Addy that...or here Cassie hold the baby...oh Cassie isn't she just the cutest baby! No...my nephew Nate, niece Mia, and niece Sarah were the cutest babies...that little chubster is adorable, but not more so than my other kiddos. It's hard...seeing all your friends and family getting pregnant around you...it's hard hearing all the success stories of people who are in the same predicament as me...spend a couple of months trying to conceive and then voila it's a frickin miracle...I'm pregnant!!! YAY congrats...congrats...go suck an egg and leave me the frick alone. I have to say though...two of my friends have become pregnant here lately...and I'm super happy for them! One wasn't lately...she's actually about to pop any second...but she has had a hard go of conceiving her story makes mine look like a walk in the park. The other is a very close friend who already has a little boy, but has wanted a big family for soooo long that I was overjoyed to find out.
I think...that second thing...ties into the strength issue...so we'll leave it at that.
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