3. Describe your relationship with your parents
Wow...I actually have not been looking forward to this post. I even almost didn't write one for this post. My relationship with my parents has been...rocky, I guess is the best word for it.
My mother used to be my best friend. We did everything together, along with my sister. We had girls nights, movie nights...and many other things that most children absolutely dread doing with their parents. When my step-dad divorced my mom I really couldn't foresee how our lives were going to be because up to that point it was always Duane and my mom. This man was the only father I knew up til I was like eight or nine! We grew up air force so it wasn't the easiest lifestyle, but I thank God everyday for it. I am a better person because from an early age I was held accountable for my actions and spanked until I was a lady and behaved as such. But back to my mom. I think the turning point in our relationship was when she had a gastric bypass surgery. I used to tell everyone that she became a pod person. But I now know that that isn't true either. After having the surgery...she had such an inflated self confidence that it lead her to pursue other avenues for entertainment than what she had originally done. She introduced me to going to bars and karaoking , but!! And this is a big but!!! We could go without getting drunk or causing a scene and still have a fabulous evening and upholding our standards. It was after the surgery that she started to spend most of her nights at a bar getting drunk. She was arrested for a DUI which to this day she says she was profiled and followed from a bar. This we can all overlook...but why I say this is a pivotal moment is because the mother that I knew...ceased to exist. We no longer spent days together. We no longer took trips together. We no longer shared everything about ourselves with each other. And believe me I tried!
She doesn't drink like she used to...and I thought once she grew up again that we could repair our relationship. And I tried...but when you live 15 minutes from your daughters house, but refuse to drive to it...it kinda grates on your nerves. My mother hasn't been to my house in a year...and that time was actually for ten minutes when leaving on a girls weekend and everyone was meeting at my house. Before that it had been Easter or mothers day the year we moved into our house. And another big mark that says I really don't need to be trying to repair this relationship...she was crying to my sister awhile ago telling her that she was all alone and that my sister never visited anymore, and my sister replied that she never came over to hers or my house either. That she had two children which meant she should never feel alone. To which my mother replied she didn't have another daughter because I refused to talk to her or come over to her house.
(WOW I just looked over this and found I'm telling my life story...cripes!!!)
Anywhoo...I love my mother and wish for the relationship we had when I was growing up, but I guess until my mother grows up and stops being so childish I don't think that relationship will ever heal itself. (And before y'all get gripey with me...I have gone over to my mothers house, many, many times! But my husband and I can't spend long periods of time over there because they smoke incessantly in the house and I am a severe asthmatic. At least when going over to my sisters, she airs out the house and refuses to smoke inside while I am there. My mother and her husband walk around the house smoking like a freight train after promising they would go outside.
Okay so on to my Dad. Our relationship is probably the exact opposite to my mom's. Dad was never really around growing up unless it was birthdays or holidays and then it was like it was more out of obligation. But now a days...my Dad calls me out of the blue just to say hi and check on me. This has been happening more and more frequently and I have to say...the old bugger is growing on me. When we talk it's for long periods of time and I have to say...I really like this leaf my Dad has turned.
Out of these relationships with my parents...I could be a complete mess, but because of other people who helped raise me I am a great person. My Step-father Duane who pretty much raised me with very old fashioned morals and values. My 2nd father (who is my BFF's Dad) Keith, taught me the meaning of a loving relationship and how to have plain and simple fun in everything I do. Another father type Carlas who made sure I was taken care of when my mom faded from my life.
Keep checking back for more posts from 30 Things!!!
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