9/30 Things: People

9) List 10 people who have influenced you and how.

 Russ

I am sure this is a typical pick for every married person. Russ has allowed me to be myself; who ever that may be.  He's allowed me to explore and try to find that person and also still nurtures me.  Russ loves me for who I am.  I didn't really know how my relationship with my mother was affecting me until I looked at it through the eyes of someone else.  Russ helped me to get over the anger and just work on healing past it.  I can now say I love my mom...I just don't think we'll ever be friends like we were.

Amanda

My sister has always been there for me.  We used to fight like cats and dogs, but after we didn't live together we became the best of friends.  Mandy has always encouraged me to shoot for my dreams.  It's almost like she was my life coach.  I've learned from her mistakes and she's always been there to help me through times when I doubted myself.

Tiffany
Hahaha...what do you say about the craziest person you know?!  Tiff has been my best friend since the fifth grade when my family moved back from Washington.  She has always been the peanut to my butter.  (Get the nutty reference?  LOL)  I can't count how many times this lady has kept me out of trouble.  Steered my life onto a different path or told me, that boy is just plain wrong for you and saved me from a huge pile of heartache.  Even though we're miles apart I can just pick up the phone at anytime of day and talk to her like we just talked ten minutes ago.  I'd have to say...if I could swing the other way...she'd be my gal!  (She's gonna shoot me for typing that!  :D)

Ashley, Lyndsey, & Amy
This trio of ladies have been anchors to me in troublesome times.  Ash and Lynds are my best friends from high school.  We've each helped each other out of some pretty harsh times.  I don't think I would have made it out of high school alive without these two.  Amy was my anchor after high school.  When my life was changing, my mom getting married, she was able to keep me sane.  Amy came into my life about the time my mom and I started getting distant and I don't think without her to talk to...life would have turned out much differently.


Laura
Laura was a friend of my husband before we got together.  Since meeting Laura she has taught me how to tap into my wild side.  I am now able to do things that I would NEVER thought I would ever possibly do.  It's good clean fun y'all...just walking on the wild side sometimes never hurt anyone...you just have to know the line between good and bad.


Mr. Thelman
Mr. Thelman was my high school orchestra teacher.  He encouraged all of us to dream big and to be the best.  I think he is the reason I was ranked 18th in the state in 2001 for violinists.  Hard work and dedication really do pay off.


WOW THIS IS REALLY HARD!!!!!


I really think that's it y'all....

8/30 Things: Passions

8. What are five passions you have?

1)  Creating Art; whether this is through taking pictures, scrap booking, coloring, playing the violin, baking, or just general decorating, I love creating stuff.  I am currently obsessed with trying to sew stuff.  I recently took home 28 pillow cases with the belief I am going to be creating a lot of fun stuff with them.  I've already looked up how to make bags, shirts, dresses for little girls, and travel pillows.  I even had an idea of putting several together to create some clothing for full size people.  I also love to create music, whether its playing my violin, playing the piano, or singing I find the quickest outlet for creativity is music.

2)  Deepening and strengthening my faith;  I enjoy learning new views and ideas of faith.  I don't feel like a good christian right now and want to be a better child of God.  So it is a passion of mine to become a better child of God.  I am currently on a journey to have a childlike faith.   

3)  Defining who I am; For years I have listened to who other people said I was or thought I was.  I have always defined myself as a daughter, sister, aunt, and kind of just went with the flow.  What others liked, I liked.  What others did, I did.  Subsequently I don't really have an idea of who I am or what I truly like.  I mean there are some things I am certain of.  But I am in a period of questioning certain things and redefining who I am without anyone elses opinions.  (Luckily, my husband likes this idea.)

4)   My Husband and furr babies; These lovies are my whole world and I am so thankful that I get to call them my family.

Brutus Octavius, 9

Punky Brewster, 1

Dax, 10ish

Zoey Redbird, 3 1/2

 5)  My Job;  I love my job.  There is just something about working with the public and helping their business trips and family vacations be that much more special.  I love the satisfaction that comes with a job well done and knowing that in a huge snafu with lots of tension and stress you were the one who could help calm them and make their stay as comfortable as if they were at home.  Sure...working with the public is STRESSFUL and CRAZY...and you get some of the crappiest, grumpiest people on earth, but then other times you have the nicest, sweetest people come through and it just evens it all out.  

6.  I know it just calls for five, but after I wracked my brain for five I was coloring a cross at work and I got to thinking how passionate I am about anything Celtic.  Music, traditions, colors, lands....oye!  I love it!!!! 

 

Crisis/Drama Averted...I think?

Well lovies it's been a long week so far here in my little bit of the world.  Between working weird shifts for a while and taking advantage of said weird shifts to spend a little extra time with my honey...my sleep has been off, so I've felt like poo.  No literally people...poo.

I've been noticing my back has been really itchy for a bit and a couple of days ago noticed this huge welt on my back...seriously ewww inducing welt.  (Was going to insert picture here; but decided it might be a little too much sharing...)  Anyways, after several people looking at it telling me to go see a Doc and Russ urging me too...I went yesterday morning.

After waiting in a room for an hour my Doc finally shows up. Looks at it and says...yea it's definitely a bite, but I don't think its from a spider.  Have you been in the woods lately.  Um...no not really??  (Insert flash back to anniversary in Branson and spontaneous hike in the woods!) So I'm like wait...could it have been like a little over a week ago.  I was in Branson on Monday and we went on a hike then, but that's it.  She said yup...that would be it.  So it's a tick bite.  And there's actually two of them that are infected...one just a little more so than the other.  So now not only am I taking some serious antibiotics...which make me...laugh upon laugh...sensitive to the sun, but I also have to be rubbed down three times a day with bactracin, which is an antibiotic ointment like neosporin.  Which is okay cause I grew up with that stuff so no love lost there.  Plus, I have been admonished on letting my tetanus booster go for so long and told to get that done....um...yea okay...when you come hold my hand while some strange person pokes me with a needle...I don't care if you write me a prescription for it...probably not gonna happen!  And also told to watch for signs of....GASP!!!!....Lyme disease.  So yea...if I get a fever, headache, or flu like symptoms...or a ring around my bite sites...I have to go have a test run.  

Now I did a report in school about a billion years ago on Lyme Disease and one of the biggest things that jumped out at me then was most people went undiagnosed for years before finally getting help.  Most people didn't fit the symptom list for Lyme disease so doctors wouldn't test them.  So now I am totally freaking out.  Because and this is big...I don't know if I've actually had flu like symptoms, or headaches, or just aches because of the bite or if any of this can be attributed to my crazy work schedule here lately.  Luckily, I haven't had any aches (unless I touch it) or flu like symptoms, but I have had a headache.  I guess really at this point I am just watching the bites really closely for a ring around them and researching Lyme Disease to death.  

On the upside...they hired someone at work today!!!  YAY!!!  So my schedule should be going back to normal soon...plus..getting rotating Saturday's off!!!  YAY!!!  Work is gonna be harsh for the next two weeks, but there are a couple of things to look forward to.  
1)  Going to dinner with Grandpa and Cousin Michelle on Monday and;

2)  Going camping next weekend.  It's really an SCA event called Candlelight in Pine Bluff, but it's camping, and it's gonna be freaking awesome!!!! So I will leave you with this...it's a photo of Russy at an SCA event called Diamond Wars in 2007.  He was armoring up for battle!

Getting ready for battle!

At fighter practice...Russy on right and his best friend Daniel on left.

7/30 Things: Dream Job(s)

7. What is your dream job, and why?

Well actually I have several dream jobs:

1)  A Mom...really a stay at home mom who is like the quintessential 50's stay at home mom.  House is clean everyday..beds are made...homemade dinner on the table every night, but I'd also like to pair that with home schooling my kids too.  This way whenever we felt like it we could travel.  There are so many things outside to do that are educational and I believe that we're all missing it when we sit in school all day everyday.  


2)  I want to own a bake shop.  Could be a smallish hip restaurant that caters to desserts but has a limited selection of food or it could just be a bake shop that is walk in and take out.  I love baking...cookies, cupcakes, cakes...you name it and I pretty much love to do it.  (Or love the idea of it.  I still have as yet to make creme brulee)

All of these cakes were made by moi!!

3)  I want to be an English teacher.  I want to start this idea in high school where the higher levels read not only classic literature, but contemporary lit too.  The books read in class would be picked by the class.  Each student would be responsible for showing complete knowledge of not just the story but the themes in each also.  Each year the classes would get together and chose one "big" novel that they read in their own time.  A trip would then be planned for the end of the year that revolves around that novel.  Could be to the authors hometown...where the book is said to take place or where the historical relevance actually happened.  These trips would be an extension of learning that could happen outside of the classroom.

4)  I would LOVE to own my own hotel or bed & breakfast.  I love working in hotels meeting new people and dealing with the public.  This one I actually can't see happening. 

5)  My family has always had this dream of having a one stop shop of party planning.  I'd bake the cakes, my sister and her family would do the decorating and taking down, my mom would plan and do flowers.  I actually love to plan parties, but am horrid with flower arrangements.  I think this dream is doable even without my mom because my sister and I can do all of this ourselves.  

6)  I would love to be a writer.  I get these great ideas for stories and novels, but whenever I sit down to write the story...I just can't get it out.  I can get the concepts to paper so I don't lose it, but I can't write the dang stories!!!

 

6/30 Things: Hardest Thing

6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

I think it is a toss up between a couple of different things.  All of it has to pertain to the death or near death of someone I love.  These are are either people I am really close to or are the loved ones of someone close to me.

I was engaged once before Russ, and at that time we were both just kids.  But we knew we loved each other (or so I thought).   His mom was very....how do I put it...in our lives.  ALL THE TIME!  I realize now that it was just because she really didn't have anything else and he was her pride and joy, but then it just drove a spike between us.  We ended up breaking up, harsh words were said and it was pretty brutal.  But about a year later his mom had some major health complications and I was told she didn't have very long to live and that he had requested I come be with him.  Now not only was I his finance at one time, but we were best friends since seventh grade.  So all things aside, I went.  After she passed... sitting with him and trying to help him through it was just..hard.

But of course, nothing was harder than watching my husband go through the loss of his father.  In fact, he still going through it.  The week we were in Michigan was hard for everyone...and I don't want to say it was the hardest on me because it really wasn't.  But I do think it was one of the hardest things I've been through.  I didn't know what to do for my family or how to help besides just being there.  And I know that that in itself was a help, but I don't and didn't feel like I was helping all that much.  Plus, seeing the pain my husband and his mom and sister were in...was excruciating!  Russy still goes through moments when he gets completely sad in remembering his dad and starts crying and I don't know whether to try to help him talk through it or let him alone.  

The last thing that completes this hardest thing triumvirate was my daddy having a heart attack.  It wasn't a bad one and he is all better now...with a moderate diet and exercise but it made me realize that Dad's not going to be here forever and I really need to learn a lot of stuff from him.   

Anniversary Trip 2012: BRANSON!!!

Russy and I had an awesome idea last year to go on a trip around our anniversary that was small and pretty inexpensive.  Last year we went to Tulsa, but this year I've been begging for him to go to Branson and he agreed.

For those of you joining my blog from other parts of the country and planet.  Branson is in Missouri.  It started out as the Country Music Capitol kinda like Las Vegas.  HWY 76 strip is where every major performer either has a performance stage or has performed on one of them.  From there they added outlet malls, curio shops, Silver Dollar City (an amusement park and historical recreation of old westy type stuff), White Water (which is a water theme park), and other places to do and see things that most towns just don't offer.  If you have some time after reading my blog...just google Branson and see what all there is to do.  It's worth a road trip!!! 

Hahaha...looking back when I first started having difficulties and wanted to redesign the trip...I should have.  At first I couldn't find a place for us to stay.  They had just had a tornado blow through town about a month before we decided to go.  Then I purchased tickets to an amusement park for the wrong date!  Finally when we get there the hotel room...wasn't all that fabulous; but we persevered....until.....I found out the amusement park we wanted to go to was fricking CLOSED the entire two days we were going to be there.  This amusement park is called Silver Dollar City...it's awesome...I love it!!!  I KNOW Russy will love it and it only took me five years of being together to persuade him he needed to go...we finally kick the bucket and go and ITS CLOSED!!!!!  AAAHHHHH....still makes me want to scream.  So we quickly had to come up with a contingency plan.   Well here it is...we went to a place called Castle of Chaos.  It's an eight minute ride that's in 3D.  But they call it 5D because they blow air and water at you.  The platform on which you sit spins, your seat moves and all the while you are listening to a story and shooting at things...trying to liberate a castle from Ghosts that will not rest.  

Next we went to Ripley's Believe It or Not.  We both really love that show..so it was only natural that we go check out the museum.  It was actually really cool and we had a blast playing with everything in there.  My better and favorite pictures are below.

From there we went to the Factory Outlet Center.  Did a little shopping.  Found some amazing deals....found some not so amazing deals.  When leaving going for food we got lost and turned around which lead us to an amazing discovery.

On Shepard of the Hills Expressway there is a turn around/outlook point where you can choose to park and hike or just look at the scenery.  At first we were just going to look, but I really thought we should hike at least the first leg which was 1.1 miles.  Now, before I started my weight loss journey...this would have never been something I thought about doing...but I really wanted to do this.  We had alot of fun...took some great photo's and have to say when hiking...if your going only downhill for a large portion of the hike...before you want to go on a bigger portion of the trail...make sure you can get up the other side first.

Next we had lunch at Wendy's and then went to an IMAX movie called Tornado Alley.  Now if you've ever watched a show on Discovery called Storm Chasers; you've heard of this movie from Shaun Casey.  It really wasn't what I though it was going to be like.  It was more technical and featured a lot of another team.  I'm kind of wondering if since he couldn't get a lot of the footage he wanted if he teamed with them to put the movie out just to fund more research.  There were still some stunning footage of tornado's and just for that I would recommend seeing the movie.

After that we went to the Tanger Outlet mall.  This mall depressed me...the Disney Store was severely lacking in Lilo and Stitch stuff and most of the other shops catered to skinny types and didn't really have any great deals.  Although Russy got some great tools for REALLY great prices.  

So yea...had a pretty good trip all things considered.  It could have been a lot worse if I had just been allowed to throw in the towel and give up.  I even tried a new restaurant called Fudruckers.  It's a burger joint that was TOTALLY not what I was expecting.  We'll be going back whenever we're in town...and yes...Russy says we will be going back.

 

Castle of Chaos and Russy in the lower right hand corner.  He called me a tourist for this photo.

Outdoor Man extraordinaire...Russy on our nature hike.

Just goofing around in the wilderness.

I really really like this photo...just wish I had photoshop so I could fix the glare on my glasses lens.

You can really see it now...my husband decided on this trip to start trying his new hair-do.  The straight up bed head/rocker look.  Hmm...I'm still getting used to it.  I kinda like it though.

Butterflies at Ripley's.

Y'all I thought this was weird and genius at the same time.  The picture was made from toast...yes I said toast!

Bahahahaha...read the next photo for an explanation of this one.

Um...really!!!

 

 

 

Two headed cow...

This machine was used in Chitty-Chitty-Bang-Bang...it's a vacuum cleaner.

At the Promenade in Branson Landing watching the fountain.  We will be staying down here next time we go.

I think we need to get a new pose for the camera.

 

5/30 Things: Happiest

5. What are the 5 things that make you most happiest right now?

1) My ability to sing. 

 I sing when I'm sad, happy, angry...pretty much in any situation I am singing or humming to myself to keep me from either having a temper tantrum or killing someone.  I can't say that I have spontaneously broken out into song because of something someone said, but my co-workers and I have a song that we will just randomly text or say to each other that causes any bad day or moment to go away and smile.

2)  My husband.

Russy loves me for who I am and that makes me happy.  I just have to constantly remind myself of that fact.

3)  My furrbabies.

Dax, Zoey Redbird, Brutus Octavius, and Punky Brewster are my children right now.  They are spoiled rotten and they know it.  I love nights my husband has off because I get to snuggle with Russy, Bru and Punky.  And even though Zoey is our outside baby...she is such a cuddle bug too.  She gives the best hugs.  I always keep her in the house when I'm sick, because she snuggles and hugs you until your well.

4)  My Job.

A combination of the people I work with, the awesome hotel I work with, and the management keeps my stress levels very low.  My co-workers are very helpful and flexible (as am I) on when people need special days off.  AND!!!  They have these awesome celebrations every month for the people who work here.  Now that is worker recognition!!!

5)  My In-laws, Friends, and Sisters.

This group of fantastic people are....wow...there are no words to describe what these people mean to me.  My in-laws are like my husband...they love me no matter what.  They like me just the way I am.  My friends have always and will always be there for me no matter what.  And my Sisters are just the greatest group of women.  Again....I have no words and have become vaklempt.

4/30 Things: Sixteen

4. List 10 Things you could tell your 16 year old self, if you could:

1) You can hold out for that special someone in your life.  When the time comes and you believe you've waited long enough and he's pretty fabulous...wait six months longer.  He will be your husband and the one who God has given you.  Waiting is hard, but the reward of waiting for him...is even greater than you can imagine.  (You can't imagine how much I kick our butts for meeting "the one" just one month after giving up the wait!)

2) Never give up the eating habits that you have right now that mom works a lot!  You will spend hundreds of dollars trying to correct your eating habits that you have perfect right now!!!  Plus, you'll never have to go through the wardrobe that I have right now...

3) Never give those Levi acid wash jeans you got at the outlet mall in Denver to your sister.  If you've listened to #2..you should still fit into them and won't be turning it into a purse at my age.

4) Trust me when I say...even though you want to kill your sister now...she will become your best friend.  I know..."s'yea right!"  Don't get snotty lady!!!  She will; and she'll also give you your two most favorite people in the world outside of your husband...who you will spoil rotten and believe the sun rises and sets within them.

5)  It is okay to question Mom's faith.  She is allowed to believe what she wants, but what feels fundamentally wrong to you...probably is.  Don't wait until your late 20's to try another church...she's not going to kill you because you leave the faith...only if you stop being Christian...and so will I!  (Yes...we're inches away from time travel and I will come back and kick your booty!)

6)  Don't let your brother stop talking to you, either one of them.  Jason really needs you and so does Joe.


7) Never lose your childlike faith...you will spend years in ignorance, but once you figure out you've lost it...you will become obsessed with getting it back and figuring out where you lost it.


8)  Don't be discouraged when your family forgets your sixteenth birthday.  This is going to be a tough year and that is only the beginning of the pile.  You will survive it and be a much stronger person because of it.  Don't dwell and try to figure out what you did wrong.  You really didn't do anything.


9)  Just follow your first inclination after high school and get your Bachelor's of Education.  Be a teacher!  Plus...take that 2 year teaching job in Japan...it won't interfere with finding "the one," and be memories that I wish I had today.


10)  Never stop wearing your pageant heels.  I stopped for a couple of years and now anything over a kitten heel cause too much pain just walking around the house. 

3/30 Things: Relationships with Parents

3. Describe your relationship with your parents

Wow...I actually have not been looking forward to this post.  I even almost didn't write one for this post.  My relationship with my parents has been...rocky, I guess is the best word for it.  

My mother used to be my best friend.  We did everything together, along with my sister.  We had girls nights, movie nights...and many other things that most children absolutely dread doing with their parents.  When my step-dad divorced my mom I really couldn't foresee how our lives were going to be because up to that point it was always Duane and my mom.  This man was the only father I knew up til I was like eight or nine!  We grew up air force so it wasn't the easiest lifestyle, but I thank God everyday for it.  I am a better person because from an early age I was held accountable for my actions and spanked until I was a lady and behaved as such.  But back to my mom.  I think the turning point in our relationship was when she had a gastric bypass surgery.  I used to tell everyone that she became a pod person.  But I now know that that isn't true either.  After having the surgery...she had such an inflated self confidence that it lead her to pursue other avenues for entertainment than what she had originally done.  She introduced me to going to bars and karaoking , but!!  And this is a big but!!!  We could go without getting drunk or causing a scene and still have a fabulous evening and upholding our standards.  It was after the surgery that she started to spend most of her nights at a bar getting drunk.  She was arrested for a DUI which to this day she says she was profiled and followed from a bar.  This we can all overlook...but why I say this is a pivotal moment is because the mother that I knew...ceased to exist.  We no longer spent days together.  We no longer took trips together.  We no longer shared everything about ourselves with each other.  And believe me I tried!

She doesn't drink like she used to...and I thought once she grew up again that we could repair our relationship.  And I tried...but when you live 15 minutes from your daughters house, but refuse to drive to it...it kinda grates on your nerves.  My mother hasn't been to my house in a year...and that time was actually for ten minutes when leaving on a girls weekend and everyone was meeting at my house.  Before that it had been Easter or mothers day the year we moved into our house.  And another big mark that says I really don't need to be trying to repair this relationship...she was crying to my sister awhile ago telling her that she was all alone and that my sister never visited anymore, and my sister replied that she never came over to hers or my house either.  That she had two children which meant she should never feel alone.  To which my mother replied she didn't have another daughter because I refused to talk to her or come over to her house. 

(WOW I just looked over this and found I'm telling my life story...cripes!!!)

Anywhoo...I love my mother and wish for the relationship we had when I was growing up, but I guess until my mother grows up and stops being so childish I don't think that relationship will ever heal itself.  (And before y'all get gripey with me...I have gone over to my mothers house, many, many times!  But my husband and I can't spend long periods of time over there because they smoke incessantly in the house and I am a severe asthmatic. At least when going over to my sisters, she airs out the house and refuses to smoke inside while I am there.  My mother and her husband walk around the house smoking like a freight train after promising they would go outside.


Okay so on to my Dad.  Our relationship is probably the exact opposite to my mom's.  Dad was never really around growing up unless it was birthdays or holidays and then it was like it was more out of obligation.  But now a days...my Dad calls me out of the blue just to say hi and check on me.  This has been happening more and more frequently and I have to say...the old bugger is growing on me.  When we talk it's for long periods of time and I have to say...I really like this leaf my Dad has turned.

Out of these relationships with my parents...I could be a complete mess, but because of other people who helped raise me I am a great person.  My Step-father Duane who pretty much raised me with very old fashioned morals and values.  My 2nd father (who is my BFF's Dad) Keith, taught me the meaning of a loving relationship and how to have plain and simple fun in everything I do.  Another father type Carlas who made sure I was taken care of when my mom faded from my life. 

Keep checking back for more posts from 30 Things!!! 

2/30 Things: Fears

HOPESandDREAMS: 2/30 Things: Fears





2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.

1. I guess my ultimate fear is being a widow.

I know that when I have a child...it'll change to the fear of losing said miracle baby after spending so many years waiting for them.  But right now...I fear for my husbands life.  Of course, the way he drives doesn't help this issue any, but I guess the fear started last year.  We lost Russy's dad unexpectedly in July and ever since then I have fret and worried myself sick about losing him.  If you don't know, my husband is 19 years older than I am...so this fear is valid.  But every time my husband and I have this talk he reminds me that we can not and do not know God's will and with his sense of humor...I'd be the one going before him.

Don't tell him I said so...but sometimes my Russy can be so wise.

2. I fear not ever having a child.

This again is a valid fear.  Several years ago I was diagnosed with PCOS.  I know many women who have had beautiful babies while having PCOS, but I also know many women who don't.  Russy and I are not financially sound right now to try fertility treatments, but my Doc said lose some weight and see if that helps!  I've currently lost 20 lbs.  and am battling to hit 30. (I go up, down, up, down, up, down!!) And have already started to see cycles becoming regular.  

3.  I fear not being good enough.

This mainly has to pertain to my faith.  Not being faithful enough or strong enough in my faith that when I die or the day of judgement comes I am not among those in heaven.  But it's also started to seep into my life.  I fear not being a good enough wife to my husband.  I fear not being beautiful enough, or sexy enough, or a good enough friend.  I know that this fear stems from my faith not being strong enough...but when you start to question the faith you were raised as; and try to find where you fit in life...I guess the rest of your life is going to be a little shaky too.  

  

1/ 30 Things: 20 Random Things about ME!

Okay so first off to know what I am doing...you need to check this awesome chicky out.  She (Jessi) started this year out by wanting to get to know herself and by extension her hubby better...so this is what she's blogging about.  So today I begin this journey along side her!!!

**Here is a listing of all the 30 Things posts and my corresponding answers!**

1) I am and always have been bothered by the fact no one can pronounce my name correctly when reading it off a class list or roster.

2) I am completely bothered by the fact whenever I say my name on the phone people repeat it back to me as Kathy.

3) I am the last of seven children including step, half, and full blood siblings.

4) I have a degree as a Paralegal, but never worked a day in the field.

5) I want to be a writer, but frequently find myself without something to say.

6) I have been working on my wedding scrapbook since the wedding 3 years ago and find myself only 1/3 of the way finished.

7) My entire family has been diagnosed with hypothyroidism (which scares the bejeesus outta me), but my sister (whose always had to be different) was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism.

8) My dream car is a 2012 Ford Edge Limited in Blue.

9)  I find that sometimes even though I love my husband to bits...I want to murder him in his sleep.


10) I am addicted to twinkies and heath bars, but only allow myself heath bars at "that time" of the month and never allow myself twinkies.


11) I spent an entire summer hoarding and eating twinkies and all I had to show for it was a recognizable twinkie butt.


12) Can't decide whether I need the NYX Crimson Pallet or the New Bare Minerals cool or warm collection set....(I am currently obsessed with makeup!) 


13) I am currently on the look out for a good facial cleanser and moisturizer that is pretty inexpensive, but really good for removing makeup and keeping your face from getting too oily.  (References appreciated!!!)


14) I LOVE giving people visual aids in my blogs, but find posting pictures is horrid!!!  So I've just discovered how to link!!!


15) I always find out about awesome things after a deadline is announced...take for example this or cookie swaps...or other awesome..people meeting things!!!


16) I fully believe that God intended for me to be a full figure woman...now I just need to wrap mine and my doctors head around that and be okay with it.


17) For years I struggled with the fundamental beliefs of my mothers religion before I said...hey I'm a big girl...it's time to find a better "spiritual fit" for me.  And I did!!!  


18) I have always dreamed of going on a mission trip, but the opportunities have never been presented at a time when I could afford it.


19) I dream of living in Ireland for at least half a year before I die.


20) I try to curb my addiction to pinterest in such a way that my friends have commented...you don't post anything for days and then all of a sudden there's an EXPLOSION of new pins to slog through!!!  


This post took me almost three hours!!!  I've been sitting here wracking my brain trying to come up with somethings that people close to me know, but most that they don't.  Because let's face it...my blog isn't viewed very much by outside people.  Hopefully, that will change!

Musings on a Sermon

I’ve been attending a new church called Mt. Olive in Van Buren.  It’s been awhile since I’ve been in church…now I’m not trying to make excuses, but between working on Sundays, not being able to get my lazy butt out of bed….or dressed to make it to a service, I haven’t been to church in about a month.  Now whenever I go that long between spiritual nourishment, my soul seems to take a hit and I notice that my faith becomes a little rusty.  It’s easier to make bad choices and not give a fig for what other people think.

This past Sunday my Pastor held a sermon that really stood out to me.  Now normally I just take notes and reread services and be content with it.  But this service keeps calling me to blog about it…I can only pray that I can do Pastor Barry proud with it.

On April 15, 2012 Mt. Olive church started a new series called, “At the Movies.”  We started with a five minute clip from Chronicles of Narnia: Voyage of the Dawn Treader.  This clip was where Lucy and Edmund we’re with their cousin in their bedroom after getting in trouble by their uncle.  They were commenting on how much a painting reminded them of Narnia and how much they’d like to go back.  After some bickering with their cousin about not living in the real world…the painting starts pour out water.  This was what they had been wanting…to go back to Narnia.  Pretty soon they were being picked up by Prince Caspian and taken aboard his ship where they were welcomed and introduced to the crew as the High Prince and Princess of Narnia.

 

The correlation that Pastor Barry made with this clip was the start of an adventure.  For Edmund and Lucy and even their cousin this was the beginning of their adventure.  For the congregation this was the beginning of our adventure!

The main theme that stood out to me was the power of routine in our lives.   Acts 3:1-10 says, “ Peter and John went to the Temple one afternoon to take part in the three o’clock prayer service. As they approached the Temple, a man lame from birth was being carried in. Each day he was put beside the Temple gate, the one called the Beautiful Gate, so he could beg from the people going into the Temple. When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for some money. Peter and John looked at him intently, and Peter said, “Look at us!” The lame man looked at them eagerly, expecting some money.  But Peter said, “I don’t have any silver or gold for you. But I’ll give you what I have. In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazarene,  get up and  walk!” Then Peter took the lame man by the right hand and helped him up. And as he did, the man’s feet and ankles were instantly healed and strengthened. He jumped up, stood on his feet, and began to walk! Then, walking, leaping, and praising God, he went into the Temple with them. All the people saw him walking and heard him praising God. When they realized he was the lame beggar they had seen so often at the Beautiful Gate, they were absolutely astounded!”

Just imagine what would have happened if the beggar hadn’t  followed his routine that day…he wouldn’t have been healed!  It was explained to us that we all have decided to make changes in our lives, but pretty soon routine takes over and our hearts deaden and our souls wither.  The first question that popped into my head after Pastor Barry said this was, “Well, what is defined as a routine?”  But, of course, he was one step ahead of me.  It could be something we do the same way day in and day out, or even an attitude we’ve had for most of our lives saying, “I can’t,” or “I’m useless.”  This sounds like all of us.  We’ve all said those two things to ourselves at one time or another.   We’ve all been told this is a defeatest attitude and we shouldn’t believe these things, but speaking from personal experience…it’s hard not to put yourself down or believe that in anything you can and will perservere.   We can change our attitudes and get out of our routine, but then something happens to knock our feet out from under us and we revert back to the way we were.  The routine we worked so hard to get out from under in the first place.  

Another routine could be our finances.  This again struck very close to home.  Russ and I have attended Financial Peace University and have been on the road to becoming debt free for awhile now.  We know what we’re supposed to do and work our hind ends off to do it, but inevitably something happens and we fall back into our old habits.  Last year we made enough money in a side job to completely pay off all our credit cards, but did we?  No, because as soon as the cash came in, we spent it as entertainment money…eating out, going to movies, or purchasing something we really didn’t need.  We’ve set the goal this year that by the end of summer we will have the credit cards paid off.  It’s a little daunting, but I pray every night that God helps of achieve this.  Or at least helps us to stay on track enough that we’re almost there.  We know things are going to break so we just want to be pretty darn close if not done with the credit cards by the end of summer.
So throughout this whole thing you’ve probably been asking yourself… “How do you break routine?” Come on Cassie…get to the good stuff!!!  Well Pastor Barry says, “Its simple! You start living differently!”  Simple!  That’s not simple…that’s freakin hard!!!  He finishes by saying, “It’s simple, but it’s the application that’s hard.”  So how do we start living differently?

“The Daily Practice of Childlike Faith.”

Matthew 18:1-4 says, “About that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven?” Jesus called a little child to him and put the child among them. Then he said, “I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven.”

The simplest way to change your routine is to practice childlike faith and take it one day at a time.  So what is childlike faith?
1) Trust God Completely.
2) Be Completely obedient to God.

Simple right?  For children yes, but we as adults seem to find these two things to be the hardest things we have to do.  Why?  When did we start not trusting God completely?  When did we stop being completely obedient to God?  This is what I’ve been struggling with all week.  When did this happen to me and why do I find it so hard to have childlike faith?  Heck…I made a goal for this week:  I would read one chapter a night from the bible…every night.  No cheating and catching up half way through.  But you know what…by the second night I had missed my bible reading and haven’t gotten a single night since.  I’ll be missing church this week because I have to work, but I am setting the same goal for myself.    

Also…I found a great blog post that helps you examine things about yourself that you think you know right off the bat, but I started looking and I couldn’t come up with good answers.  So, for awhile at least I will be doing these posts that delve deeper into me.  Maybe, with helping me find me, I can find my childlike faith.

Ramblings

It's been awhile since I've posted anything and the other day I was scribbling in my notebook and this is what I came up with...hope you enjoy!

An Open Letter to My Loves:

It started with who is now a park ranger. You, little boy, who runs through my memory with abandon were a perfect little gentleman. You were a knight, an alien, Ninja Turtle, and on occasion my savior from cruel kids. It was the end of the world when I moved. We didn't know it, but it was the end of us. To you I owe my childhood...thank you for the laughs and making my childhood a better place.

To my first kiss; the circumstances that surrounded that monumental moment sucked, but you made it a bright weekend. Our love was true and new. You made me figure out who I was and what I wanted. I miss the long conversations we used to have and every now and then I hear your voice (accent and all) telling me things I need to hear. Thank you for helping me find my way.

To the man who would have been my husband; From friends to loves and back and forth many times, we've been through hard times, we've been through good times. We both said hurtful things and to this day have never fully forgiven each other. I hear about you from time to time and I think every time I see your boy he looks more and more like you. I wish we could sit down as adults and get past the pain. Sometimes I wonder what life would have been like if certain events hadn't happened, but such is life. I wish you and yours well and hope life is everything you wanted. Thank you for opening my eyes to the way people can really be and how to see through the masks they portray.

To the men who would have been and were my first; You leave a dark spot on the brightness of my life. The only reason I stop and pay attention to your memory is not because of you personally, but because of the moment in my life and lessons I learned from it. You two men were and always will be the villians of my fairy tale. I thank you both for nothing and sing praises everyday you are out of my life.

To my husband; I never would have thought we would work as well as we do. Ten years ago I would have said people were crazy if they had suggested us, but now I can't imagine my life without you. You help me forget I'm getting older and being scared, but also help me to mature in who I am. I sometimes get lost in you and wish sometimes you did the same. Thank you for the incredible love story in which I get to play a part and for our future. I know it will be long and I know it will be bright!

To the few men between these milestones. I do remember you and the memories we shared. I am truly grateful for the roles you played in my life and the lessons you brought with them...confidence, lust, betrayal, forgiveness, maturity, foresight, and how to drive a stick shift, just to name a few.

Life is a lesson...and you were all Teachers.