Old Ways

We...really I...decided we'd had enough of the carpets and they had to go.  It took me awhile to convince Russ, but I finally accomplished that and we started ripping up the master bedroom carpets.  My one acquiescence was allowing Russ to do a small portion in the front half of our bedroom.  So 2 weekends ago I told him the plan was to knock out the bedroom carpet.  Friday night was a bust...then Saturday was a bust...come Sunday night I was chomping at the bit so hard Russ finally relented and we started this little project at I think 7:30pm.  He started cutting carpet and decided I'm not moving the dressers or the  book shelf or your knick knack trailer park style shelves so we're cutting around those too.  This was the after picture.  It still needed the countless staples the moron who installed the carpet put in the carpet pad.  (Much more than was actually needed!) And it still needed to be swept and mopped, but we had our first glimpse of what was beneath the carpet our pets had used and a training pad.  (BTW their all fully potty trained and use the outdoors like they should, but one dog has seizures so it's uncontrollable and then another decides...ahh he does it so it'll be okay.  Which makes seizure dog go to the bathroom in the house cause the other does.  It's a vicious cycle and I have one dog that doesn't potty in the house.  I love her to death for that!)  So that portion just so happened to be the worst part of the carpet.  It stunk...it was gross feeling and when I shampoo'd the carpet in that spot it all came back within a week.  It was nasty and had to go. 

It's been two weeks since we pulled that up.  We've gotten another small portion beside my side of the  bed pulled up....but my house does not smell like a potty anymore!  That in and of itself was completely worth it...worth all of it.  But on top of all that, I got to play with a hammer and sort of chisel to pull up the tack boards along the outside of the room.  And pull all the staples by myself...I'm feeling like the accomplished renovator.


A week after this happened Russ got a new job.  He works days now...which is so amazing, but now we start a period of readjustment.  We're trying to get back to our old way of life where I'm cooking most nights and we spend time together and I think we're both finding it hard because we want to spend time together, but at the same time we need some apart time that we've become accustomed to.  I've also tried dragging our friends back into it too because we used to spend almost every day with them.  We were the dynamic four and people could call one of us and reach everyone.  So it's a period of readjustments for everyone.  I'm finding I have to meal plan again and cook more...and frankly at the moment that is just messing with me.  (I think it may have something to do with my next 2 weeks being crammed full of too much stuff to do.)  This weekend I am helping my bestie with her wedding and I have to make 150 cupcakes...which haven't been started and find Russ a suit to wear and look and try to find a different dress for me to wear because I'm not particularly comfortable in the one I have now.  Then I have to finish deep cleaning my house because almost the entire family will be descending on my house for Thanksgiving.  Plus, start Christmas shopping, put up the decorations after Thanksgiving, decide if we're doing photo cards this year, make sure we send out Christmas cards, find the perfect wedding gift for Russ' sister, try to find a serger for my mom and get back into the swing of sewing again.  Actually clean up my sewing room then get back into the swing of sewing. 

New Adventure

Follow your heart...that is the refrain I've been hearing for awhile now.  I've never really known what exactly that entailed until about a month, month and a half ago. 

We've started attending a new church earlier this year and I've been struggling to find where I fit.  I didn't want to fall into the same old same old because I truly feel that's part of the problem with me and church.  But with Grace I was determined to wait...be patient...and wait until God calls me. 

At the end of service awhile ago they told us about a new program called Stephens Ministry.  It's where folks in the church go through training to council others.  I immediately felt excited with this because I felt it was perfect.  But I waited, researched, and prayed.  Was this what God wanted me to do?  I'm still unsure if I will be good enough to help people, but after an interview I had this week with the two Stephens Leaders it just kinda solidified what I'd been feeling.  I'm not perfect.  I'm just human.  But I'm a great listener and have a heart that wants to be a servant. 

Stephens Ministry trains lay people to serve for 2 years as councilors.  They give one hour a week with someone who just needs someone to talk to.  They give us all the tools we need to get us going and even match us up with our care receivers.  The best part to me...is not ever care receiver will be from your church.  This gets us and Christ's love out into the community.  From people with lifelong illnesses to grief to working through huge hurdles that have been thrown at them there is someone for everyone. 

If you know of anyone that could benefit from a service like this...let them know about it.  That way they can seek out a care giver.  And if your interested in learning more about Stephen Ministries just click on the link.

Time to Grow Up

You ever have those moments when you know there's something you want to do (i.e. write a blog or at least journal)...but don't think your good enough for it?  Or that you have something worth while to say?  Or fear that people aren't even going to read it?  Yea...that's been me.  For awhile now.  I want to say I went through a writing course online by two fabulous women (Brandy Walker Patterson and Elora Ramirez), but I was/am completely silent in the group.  Don't get me wrong...I'm reading and thinking, but have so far been unable to write anything.  I've started lots of stuff...but it usually peters out and is really really horrid.  Such as a letter to myself...yea...I wouldn't want to read it ever again.  It was all about keep your chin up...you'll get through this...life won't always be the complete $h*t it is now...but I just couldn't think of anything.  I have a draft on here that will never be published of an open completely snarky letter to my banking institution that jerked me around for well over a month after my debit card was compromised.  It's witty, snarky, and completely true...but since I'm a non-confrontational type person....it'll never get published.  So where am I going with this?  Well I've just decided...I have to put something out there once a week even if it's just pictures that I've taken that week with some blurbs.  I'll never get in the habit of writing without it.  I'll never get over the fear my life isn't story worthy without it.  So read...don't read...I shouldn't care.  I am doing this for my soul...not yours. 

My new sewing box...since I've taken up sewing.

This past year has been a roller coaster.  Russ started a new job in October of last year working 12 hours night shifts for 3-4 days a week.  I've finally acclimated to being able to sleep and be home alone without crippling fear...although I still sleep with a loaded rifle and car keys with an alarm next to the bed.  The plan is if I'm ever attacked in the night or someone breaks in...the house alarm should go off...I'll grab the car keys and sound my car alarm...grab the gun and try to protect myself in the eventuality they try to come after me...if they leave, well it'll be great for them on multiple counts.  1) They won't see a naked...fluffy woman wielding a gun and squinting to try and aim as to not kill them, only maim them. 2) They won't get shot. 3) They won't accidentally die because my aim sucks and it'll most likely be dark and my night vision leaves much to be desired. 
This past week they had a huge shake up at the plant.  They laid off/fired over half their work force because they decided to take the plant in a "different" direction.  Luckily, Laura and Russ were safe...in fact Russ' entire shift was laid off or transferred departments except Russ.  He's still not feeling secure in his job...but he is extremely grateful he still has a job. 
For Christmas last year Russ' mom and sister came down for a visit.  I can't tell you how excited I was for that.  I've been trying for years to get them to come down and visit since the wedding and when they did...boy was it a time.  Deb brought her girlfriend and they spent the week antique shopping.  Mom and I spent a good amount of time talking and laughing about the girls and Russ well frankly he worked a lot while they were here.  But he still got to spend some quality time with mom and his sister. 

In January, I went to an event called Newbie Collegium.  I'm not sure if many remember or if your new you don't know.  Russ and I reenact the middle ages with a group called the SCA.  This group is all over the world and have created Kingdom's the people are apart of with Kings and Queens and Princes and Princesses.  They have tournaments to determine the next King and Queen.  Once you win the crown tournament you become a Prince/Princess until the reign of the King and Queen is over.  This is typically a 6 months long processes.  Back to the event.  I've recently started fencing and at Newbie I was authorized as a fighter...this was extremely exciting for me and also a proud moment as I thought the day would never come.  I've since come to find that even though I don't have anyone near me to play with or practice I'm still pretty good.  Which makes me even more proud.  I can't wait to make some regional fighter practices and a couple of our older fencers who had stopped playing for awhile are since coming back to play.  YAY!!!! 

This year my friend Kristen participated in the Cystic Fibrosis Walk for the Cure and I tagged along.  It was so fun and I finally got to spend some quality time with her new friend Laura.  She's quirky, funny, and definitely fun to be around.  I've gotten to spend some more time with her over this year and plan her bridal shower which was this past weekend and it was great!!! 

This year my hair has gone through a lot of changes too!  I was so tired of the mousy dark brown hair that looked black sometimes...so I decided to go blond again as an homage to my youth.  People loved it...Russ loved it...and I loved it...for a time anyway.  Then my hair started getting super hard to manage and breaking off and I couldn't keep it hydrated enough that it was healthy so I decided fall was around the corner...we're going red!!!  Back to my beloved color.  We kept a couple of peek a boo blond streaks because I wasn't ready to give it all up.  But in the 3-4 weeks my hair has been colored...it has been much healthier...mainly because I'm not bleaching it every month. 

In May, my job laid me off.  I was a devastating time for me as I loved the crap out of my job.  I had decided to not work for the summer and enjoy a break and then try to be a substitute teacher and work on getting my teaching degree.  But after a week I was climbing the walls.  I couldn't stand not working.  I ended up at an interview for a company we used a lot at my old job and they offered me the job on the spot.  It was part time...but at least it was work.  The funny thing though...is 3 weeks to the day after I was laid off...my old job (well really my immediate boss..the office manager) fought to get me back and they realized they didn't want to get along without me.  So I was offered my job back.  Not at the same pay, but I had better hours.  The hours have since changed, but their not too bad.  I get off at 4:30 in the afternoon...I still miss Russ because he leaves at 4:30 to go to work...but I found I really really hated working till 5pm. 

Russ trying Bliss Cupcakes for the first time.

Hiking at Devil's Den State Park

My birthday this year was going to suck...Russ had to work that weekend so we really couldn't do anything.  He sent me flowers which normally if I don't ask and keep reminding about them I won't get them.  But this year I didn't ask or remind and I got the most beautiful bouquet!!!  Then my best friend Ashley asked me what I wanted to do.  I really hadn't gotten to go swimming all summer and my usual birthday trip to the Mulberry River was cancelled...I'm not going into why.  So she planned a small pool party for me.  It was beautiful and fun and filled with everything that I loved.  Friends, Smirnoff, pools, chicken and vegetables, and strawberry shortcake for dessert.  It was just a great day.  Then Sunday on my actual birthday my mom turned Family Sunday dinner into a Cassie fest.  Some family members were not too happy about that, but she made all my favorites.  A pot of beans with bacon, fried cabbage, ham steaks, peach cobbler, and an apple dessert.  It really solidified to me that my mom was trying to repair our relationship and we're doing much better on communicating and being with each other than we have in the past.  It's not like it used to be...but we're getting there. 

This month we took vacation to go see Russ mom up in Michigan.  I met my new soon to be niece.  Debbie & Laura are adopting a beautiful fuzz ball named KenLee.  I may be biased, but just looking at pictures of her smiling face can brighten up an otherwise dull day.  (Coincidentally it has also just hastened the inevitable..."my ovaries are hurting, lets hurry up and make a baby already" feeling.)  Coming home I told Russ its a $h*t or get off the pot moment.  One way or the other we are going to have a family and he just needs to commit to whichever way he wants that to be.  So while we were up there we/he spent lots of time with his friends and family and I cooked the whole week we were there.  Not complaining...just tiring and shows me I need to practice cooking for 6 without feeding an entire army.  I also developed stomach issues while up there.  Not going to go into details...but it wasn't fun and caused me to stick around the house a lot hence Russ spending lots of time with friends...without me.  We did however manage to make it to a friends church.  A baby shower for his friends daughter and a Mexican restaurant while up there.  Sadly, no margaritas for me because it was the first day I felt remotely well and I wasn't jeopardizing that for anything.  So we drove the 17 hours home and promptly unpacked my car, parked the trailer we hauled home again.  Put up a fence around it and went to bed.  Woke up bright and early the next day.  Ran a couple errands around town, packed up the car again and headed out to camp at an event that was 4 hours away up near Mountain Home, AR.  We get everything set up and figure out...oh no...our sleeping bag that we thought would unzip and become two...doesn't!  As it was going to be 46 degrees that night I made the executive decision we were driving into the nearest town with a Walmart and buying Russ a sleeping bag.  (He was just going to sleep with one...yes...ONE blanket.)  That weekend was so fun and just reinforced why I keep fencing and why I keep pushing Russ to stay involved with the SCA.  It's not so much he doesn't want to fight or go to events.  It's really hard for him to.  He'll get off at 5 am on a Saturday after working 12 hours and not really sleep all that well while I'm driving to an event.  Then he's up the rest of the day.  It's exhausting and gets frustrating sometimes because he can be very crabby.  But hopefully, we'll hear about a hope soon and this won't be an issue anymore.

 


The rest of this year is just going to fly by...we have upcoming test results on a sore on Russ' lip.  A wedding for my best friend Kristen and her love John that I am helping to plan and put together.  Then a couple days later it's Thanksgiving at my house for the family.  I really need to get that planned out pretty quickly because I want to try and make my Granny's Thanksgiving in Clarksville since she eats early...but I also can't have a regular dinner time because my Grandfather is traveling down from Rogers to spend Thanksgiving with us this year.  I'm so excited because my Grandpa has never been to my house.  This is huge...people don't ever come over to my house...I mean nobody.  It's a sore spot with me...but I am working to overcome it.  So when people specifically plan to come over I am like a kid in a candy store whose just been told its free and Christmas is coming early this year.  Christmas is at my sisters new house and New Years...I just don't even want to think about yet.  The new year brings a new series of events for me to fence at and also brings Russ' family coming to visit again around Easter. 

Kristen and I at her brother Vince's Wedding.